I Just Wasn’t Hungry

My entire life, I have always struggled with my weight. I was always an overweight kid. Now this isn’t some story about a girl who was fat and grew up and lost weight and now is a size two and completely fit and healthy. This isn’t that kind of story at all.

When I was in the third grade, the bullying was really bad. I was constantly being mocked and abused as the children’s target of choice. I had enough of it, and no I didn’t try to kill myself. I didn’t want to die….I simply wanted to lose weight. Dieting just wasn’t something I could do. Exercise didn’t help; so, I starved myself.

For the next six weeks I didn’t eat anything. I had convinced myself I simply wasn’t hungry, and if I ate that I would choke on it. Now you cannot fully understand unless you’ve been through the exact same thing yourself, and you haven’t, because each human is different. I know others have done what I did, but like I said… each human is different. My hunger was obviously there, but it didn’t hurt. If I went 24 hours without eating now, id feel like I was dying, but at that time in my life, being hungry, or anything to do with food just didn’t matter. I drank liquids and that was about it…

My mom took me to the doctor a couple times a week to make sure I wasn’t dying. She told my school to watch me and make sure I ate. Well, they tried, but I just didn’t want to eat. I would give my food away, and cram the rest in my milk carton. They eventually got some of my classmates to tell on me, and the teachers caught me. I still wouldn’t eat.

Finally, I was at one of my checkups almost six weeks after I started this, and my doctor said, “Brooke, if you lose one more pound I’m going to have to admit you and give you a feeding tube.” I cried and cried.  So the next day, I was watching “Bindi the Jungle Girl,” and my mom said, “Okay that’s it, your going to have to have a feeding tube put in.” I begged her to not take me and she said ” if you dont eat, I’m taking you.” I sat there watching my favorite show, and for the first time in almost two months, I ate a candy bar. I went to the doctor and she said that I lost a pound but my bloodwork was okay, and that if I had continued, I would have had a tube put in. My organs were shutting down.

After I began eating normally again, my class decided to go on a field trip. My bully; however, couldn’t afford to go. With my money I made from chores, and of course my moms help, we paid for him to go. We wanted it to be kept a secret who helped him, but my teacher felt he should know. He cried and begged for my forgiveness.

Today, I am a senior in High School. I still struggle with my weight, but I’m not starving myself. I am overweight, but with a lot of work, and Gods help, I’m going to try and change that. I want to lose weight for myself, for my health, not to please others. Love yourself. Don’t do what I did, just to be skinny. I got skinny… but also very sick. I almost died. Love yourself. God made you beautiful. He made you in his image.

Please don’t be a bully either. You just don’t know the impact your words have on someone, until sometimes when its almost too late. Be kind. Love everyone. Don’t bully, and tear people down. Show them Gods love and show them kindness. Treat others how you want to be treated.

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New Years Resolutions

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Happy New Year! 2017 has finally arrived. A New Year also means…….*drumroll*…… New Years Resolutions. Pretty much a list of things some of us has been trying to accomplish since 2001. I know I know! You really are trying this year! I get it. I’ve been trying to lose 50 lbs. on my New Years Resolutions for the past 3 years too. Following through with them is really hard, but have you stopped and asked yourself why they are really hard? I mean there’s obviously a reason. I think as humans we automatically set high goals for ourselves to reach. We all want to be fit, wealthy, and popular, but what if we set different goals for ourselves?

I mean stop trying to be like celebrities, and social media stars, and maybe worry about important stuff. Here’s a great goal to have: Get your diploma this year, or maybe get straight A’s! The number of followers you have on Instagram doesn’t effect anyones life for the better. Its Instagram…..

Instead of trying to win the lottery…….. how about learn to manage and save money a little better. Help those in need when you can! The goals we set for ourselves are very important in defining who we are. If all your worried about is having the perfect body to get a million likes on social media, then you make yourself seem pretty petty, and careless.

Here’s some wonderful goals to add to your list:

  1. Grow closer to God

If you don’t have God In your life, your completely empty, and can never have happiness or purpose.

2. Get the Holy Ghost (Acts 2:38)

Without it, you cannot go to Heaven. This is a very important goal! Obviously…

3. Be kind

If your not kind to others then how can you expect them to be kind in return?

4. Get healthy

Allll in moderation. Don’t over do the goals and say your gonna lose 20 lbs in a month. Try 5 lbs. a month.

5. Love yourself

God made you in his image and if your doing goal 4, do it for health reasons not because ou think your fat or ugly! God made you beautiful! You are fearfully and Wonderfully made!

 

Words

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” 

This is a phrase that is also one of the biggest lies to ever be told. Words go deep. They sink into the deepest depths of our mind, and consciousness.

A knife can enter into the body to terrible depths, but words can enter where a knife cannot. 

Words stick with you until the day you die. Even when you forgive a person, you will constantly remember the agonizing words they dared to utter from their lips. 

Words that replay over and over in your mind. 

 I’m sad to tell you that sometimes stabs with a knife can be fatal. There are other times; however, the cuts can be healed. You may have a scar, but it’s painless.

Words cut deeper, and even after they scar over, they still hurt. They hurt forever. 

The tongue is so evil, and detrimental. 

Proverbs 18:21 – Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

James 3:6 – And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

James 3:8 – But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

There’s many more scriptures about our mouths and tongues. 

While sticks and stones may break your bones, those bones can be healed. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will forever damage me……

Pretend With Me

As Christians, we are often asked a question that puzzles even us. “How do you know God is real?” We; of course, believe in him, and we know that faith doesn’t requiring sight. However; that isn’t a good enough answer for most people. So, if someone is reading this, and wants to know the answer to the question above, then please continue to read further. 

Pretend with me for just a moment, that your a blind man. You are in the busy streets of NYC, and all you have is a cane. You tap at the ground fervently to find the sidewalk. 

*Tap… Tap…. Tap…. 

You finally find the sidewalk. You take a small step, and you’ve crossed from one point to another. 

You couldn’t see the cane. You couldn’t see the sidewalk, but you felt it’s presence. You heard tap against the edge of it. 

Pretend with me for just a moment, that you are a blind little girl. It’s Christmas night and your hungry. Your learning to eat your food clockwise. Now with a fork in your hand, and a memory of where the food is, you dive for the plate and take a bite.

You can’t see your food! Does that mean it doesn’t exist? NO! You smelled it. You tasted it! You heard the crunch of it in your mouth. You felt it against your cheeks! 

Just because you can see something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist! 

If that were the case…. then perhaps your brain doesn’t exist…………. 

Grow Where You’ve Been Planted


I find my inspiration for this from a notorious preacher/ evangelist, Bro. Cody Marks. He recently visited our Church, and when he did, he preached an amazing sermon. I’m going to try to briefly describe what he preached about. Some things may be added from my thoughts, and taken away simply from lack of perfect memory. As Geoffrey Chaucer put it,

He who repeats a tale after a man, Is bound to say as nearly as he can, Each single word, if he remembers it……

We’ve all been through awful things. Some of us have really been through it. It seems everytime were “okay” again, it all come crashing down upon us. 

Some of us have been or is depressed. Some of us have been mentally and/or physically abused. Some of us have been through just a lot…..

We now have a choice to make.

Are we gonna lay down and die, and be defeated? Or Are we going to stand up, fight, and be overcomers? 

All these horrible things we’ve endured have not been in vain. If you overcome the things you’ve been through, you will grow to be a better person! I am who I am today because I took the bad things that happend to me, became stronger, and grew closer to God. 

We have to grow where we’ve been planted. Plants go through this thing called the “Scarification Process.” Without it, it cannot grow properly! 

We have scars, but a scar is a reminder that we went through something and are healed from it!! 

Grow where you have been planted! Like a flower in a sidewalk, best the odds, and grow!! 

Be a Soul Winner 


We really never know someone’s story. We make accusations on someone based solely on appearance, and rumors. We think that just because we sat down with a “reliable” source, and found out all about the character of the hour’s life story, that we know them. We think we have the right to judge them. 

As Christians, we are supposed to be examples of Christ. We’re supposed to show his love. 

The very people you walk past in a restaurant after Church Sunday, are the very people who need God in their life. 

Your hair is rolled to perfection. Each pin was placed with care. In your freshly ironed clothes, and your brand new heels, you walk by them like your better than them. 

You look at the single mom with piercings, and tattoos, and you judge them. Your sin is just as bad as theirs in Gods eyes. 

While you quickly forget their existence, God is saddened. That single mom needed you to tell her about to Love of God. That pregnant teenager needed you to give her a ride to Church. That man outside with holes in his clothes doesn’t need you to stare at him. How bout help him! Your but a sinner too. 

Go out and reach the lost. There are dying and starving souls in need of salvation! Your not the only one who deserves to be saved! This is for everyone. 

Go out of your comfort zone. If you get spit on, or vulgar words throne at you, brush the dust off your feet, and go on to the next one. Do your part. 

Be a soul winner! You were once where they are now. Don’t you ever forget it either. 

Go out and reach the lost. Stop staying in your comfort zones! Get out the box! 

Help someone in need of you can. Whether it be a $1 burger, or a $10 pair of shoes. But if you don’t give them anything at all, give them a Bible Study. Give them a Church card. Get them a ride to Church. 

Let’s be soul winners. 

Let’s Keep it Real

So today is Sunday, and usually our social media is filled with pictures of happy Church goers. Well over 90% of them won’t attend a night service for whatever reason. Maybe they don’t feel good, or maybe they have to travel somewhere. Maybe they just wanted to stay home and watch some football. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect at all. I’m just as bad a sinner as everyone, but let’s keep this Christian thing real. 

What I mean by that is this. 

If you wake up on Sunday, scream and spit out vulgarity all the way to Church. Go inside, fall asleep, or barely pay attention, take a selfie, put John 3:16 under it, and go home to have a beer or whatever else, well your being fake. 

Your trying to make everyone think your right with God. Your trying to make everyone think you have it all together. You may deceive some, but one things for sure…… God knows the truth. 

He’s sees you. He knows what your doing. He watches you, and it breaks his heart everytime we sin.

If your going to a Church that dismisses service to watch the Super Bowl….. I’m sorry, but your attending the wrong Church. 

Now God saw what you did on Saturday night. Now you might come Sunday Morning with a fervent spirit, and conviction in your heart, and wanting to change, but if you continually do that every Saturday. Well….. your fake. 

We are not perfect. I know that, but just beacause we’re not, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t strive to be. 

If God came back right now, would you be scared of being left, or would you have peace about being raptured? 

It takes more than believing in God to go to Heaven. See, even satan believes in God. Look where he is. It takes more. 

We have to follow Gods will and his ways. We have to strive to be more like him. Not to be him, but to be like him, which means to leave the sinfulness things of this world behind us. They asked Peter in Acts 2 “What Shall we do.”

Acts 2:37-39 KJV

[37] Now when they heard this , they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? [38] Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. [39] For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.

1.Repent 

2. Be baptized in Jesus Name.

3. Revive Holy Ghost (evidence: Speaking in tongues.) 
Remember not only on Sundays, but every day of the week…. Lets Keep It Real.

God knows all, and sees all.  

Have a blessed Sunday!! 

Congr……

It was one of those days. The sun was shining, but it was quiet. The light wasn’t as loud as usual. The traffic was indeed lacking, and there was only straight road ahead to the desired destination. 

*ring*

*ring*

*ring*

Of course the old saying goes, “Curiosity Kills the Cat.” This statement was fairly true. 

Now the operator of this automobile, was young. She was a Sophomore in college, and had her whole life ahead of her. She was extrodinarily talented in more subjects than one. 

Now as being told her entire life, the dangers and risks of texting while driving, she usually embraced the rule and was obiedent to follow it. However; things this day were different. 

She ignored it once, and then another time. She had been expecting a text message from her college advisor, depicting whether or not she had been accepted into the physical therapy program. 

Now the third time her phone set off the alarm, she pondered on whether to go ahead and find out her results. 

With her hands gripped strongly on her steering wheel, and her eyes set firm on the road, she picked up her device…………………..
About nine hours later, the wreckage scene was fairly pure. Everything seemed normal except the tree on the left side of the curb. Disturbed…. damaged. However; it wasn’t alone. This Sophomores family we’re in the most excruciating agony they could ever bear. 

Later, her phone was rescued in the wreckage, and returned properly to her family for the memories is contained. 

Most recent message: 

          It is our honor and privilege to inform you that you have been selected out of the few students to be enrolled in our Physical Therapy Program. Congratulations Ms. Tucker. Your acceptance information will be mailed immediately to the address that was provided at the beginning of your Sophomore year. You have a bright future ahead of you. Thank you, and have a great day! 


We CAN Change The World

The depth of this statement is so much more than five short words combined into a sentence. From the very first word, we understand that not just me, you, your pastor, your friend, but “WE” CAN. See it doesn’t say can’t. If we couldn’t then God wouldn’t have created us. We CAN Change. Change is a word this is not appreciated enough, because when something changes it takes a complete 360, and it is different than the way it was before. It’s not like it used to be. We CAN Change The. Now of course “The” is a simple word, we often ignore, and simply place in a sentence to make it sound correct, but without the word “The” we might have gotten confused and said “some of the”, or “most of the”, world. However, the word is being used singular, so we know that we CAN Change ALL of the world. Not just some of it. We have the power to change all of it, and don’t believe you can’t, because you CAN do anything the Lord allows! We CAN Change the WORLD. The World is a vast word. The World isn’t just a small town. It isn’t implying just your cousin, or your backslidden friends. It is implying that YOU CAN Change the entire World. Go out of your comfort and reach as many people as you can. Remember to allow God to speak through you, because your words WILL surely fail you. More of him and less of us. Don’t let anyone tell you that you CANT, because you CAN! You was put on this Earth for a reason. You wasn’t created just to add to the total population count in your city! Your more than a number, and once you understand your ability and how important you are to the Kingdom of God, you will spread your wings and soar! Trust in him! Don’t give up. You are important! You have purpose! 

I Thought I Had Time 


The Sky is dark, Yet ever so bright. The stars shine in Gods delight. Though time is scarce it’s time for thinking. Before you know it night will be as swift as your blinking.

Time is fast. Time is swift. Time is something you don’t want to miss. Cause once it’s gone, you won’t get it back. Once it’s gone you better hope your on the right track…..

Keep telling yourself your only thinking. Your only lying to yourself and continually shrinking. 

The end time is near. The end time is here, and I hope the time doesn’t come…. When your still thinking. 

Because if your thinking about giving up and your thinking about Church and just not showing up, you’ll be greatly saddened! Oh such dispair! 

Oh God help me!!! Why am I here….

Why am I here and not with you and the Angels? I missed the rapture? Oh….. It was far from a fable.

My pastor preached to me, my parents taught it to me, my friends warned me, and my siblings prayed for me…

How did this happen?? I want to go back!! How did this happen? How did I get off the right track? 

Oh God….. Save me!! I’m sorry for a lack of trying. I was super off on my timing.

Maybe if I close my eyes snd hope for the best the rapture wouldn’t have really just happened and I’m not really in this big mess!

I thought it was a while away. I just wanted to go play! My compromising got me In a hole, and now I’m stuck…. And it’s my new home. 

I thought I had time. I was only thinking! I thought I had time, but you knew my intentions.

But….. I thought I had time….

I would have came back. I promise I would, but I know I should have stayed where I already should!

Have you no mercy? Oh what am I thinking!! This isn’t your fault! It’s only mine…. For thinking….

We both know I wasn’t only thinking. We both know my heart was racing…

To backslide as fast as I could. To leave my blessed life… For what? To go live in the hood?……

Oh!! Why am I so stupid? Why am I so dumb? 

I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to run my own life, but now I’m lying here sucking my thumb..

As if I were a baby!! I wish I was because babies are in Heaven& they didn’t have to worry with time! 

I should have worried more! I should have preserved my time and used it wisely! Oh how I wasted it….

Now I know what’s next… Oh God help me!!!!

I thought I had enough time! 

If only I had another hour. If only I had another minute….

I wouldn’t be thinking….. I’d be repenting! 

Oh save me from this!! 

Help!!!! Help me!!! I’m so scared!! I’m terrified! I’m so horrified!! I’m out of time& this is my doom……

The sand fell to the bottom. The last grain found its way..

Oh time has slipped away from me… But I mean…… 

I guess my thoughts were louder than a trumpets call.

I guess my worldly desires companies well with my final fall…

But I mean of course this is all satan wanted! Right?? He wanted to get in my brain, waste my time, tell me this is all a game! How dumb can I be? 

He’s the father of all lies, how could I believe him to the point where I die? 

Oh time is precious! I should have preserved it Well. Time is precious. Why am I stuck in this cell….. 

I knew the truth! I used to live the way! How did this happen? Why did I start? 

Every message, every cry, every prayer…. Is floating freely in my mind.

I wanted time to think… Well now I’ve got it!! 

I went from no more time to all the time…. Stuck here thinking….

Thinking about all the rallies, conferences, camps I attended.

I went to them excited. Nah… I only pretended…..

I hear and see a mothers plea! Oh God please help me!! 

The pain is unimaginable. I’m speechless at best…….. 

I’ll spend all of this horrid time wallowing in my man made mess! 

Oh………. I really thought I had enough time!