My entire life, I have always struggled with my weight. I was always an overweight kid. Now this isn’t some story about a girl who was fat and grew up and lost weight and now is a size two and completely fit and healthy. This isn’t that kind of story at all.
When I was in the third grade, the bullying was really bad. I was constantly being mocked and abused as the children’s target of choice. I had enough of it, and no I didn’t try to kill myself. I didn’t want to die….I simply wanted to lose weight. Dieting just wasn’t something I could do. Exercise didn’t help; so, I starved myself.
For the next six weeks I didn’t eat anything. I had convinced myself I simply wasn’t hungry, and if I ate that I would choke on it. Now you cannot fully understand unless you’ve been through the exact same thing yourself, and you haven’t, because each human is different. I know others have done what I did, but like I said… each human is different. My hunger was obviously there, but it didn’t hurt. If I went 24 hours without eating now, id feel like I was dying, but at that time in my life, being hungry, or anything to do with food just didn’t matter. I drank liquids and that was about it…
My mom took me to the doctor a couple times a week to make sure I wasn’t dying. She told my school to watch me and make sure I ate. Well, they tried, but I just didn’t want to eat. I would give my food away, and cram the rest in my milk carton. They eventually got some of my classmates to tell on me, and the teachers caught me. I still wouldn’t eat.
Finally, I was at one of my checkups almost six weeks after I started this, and my doctor said, “Brooke, if you lose one more pound I’m going to have to admit you and give you a feeding tube.” I cried and cried. So the next day, I was watching “Bindi the Jungle Girl,” and my mom said, “Okay that’s it, your going to have to have a feeding tube put in.” I begged her to not take me and she said ” if you dont eat, I’m taking you.” I sat there watching my favorite show, and for the first time in almost two months, I ate a candy bar. I went to the doctor and she said that I lost a pound but my bloodwork was okay, and that if I had continued, I would have had a tube put in. My organs were shutting down.
After I began eating normally again, my class decided to go on a field trip. My bully; however, couldn’t afford to go. With my money I made from chores, and of course my moms help, we paid for him to go. We wanted it to be kept a secret who helped him, but my teacher felt he should know. He cried and begged for my forgiveness.
Today, I am a senior in High School. I still struggle with my weight, but I’m not starving myself. I am overweight, but with a lot of work, and Gods help, I’m going to try and change that. I want to lose weight for myself, for my health, not to please others. Love yourself. Don’t do what I did, just to be skinny. I got skinny… but also very sick. I almost died. Love yourself. God made you beautiful. He made you in his image.
Please don’t be a bully either. You just don’t know the impact your words have on someone, until sometimes when its almost too late. Be kind. Love everyone. Don’t bully, and tear people down. Show them Gods love and show them kindness. Treat others how you want to be treated.